Released Through Unrequited Channels
A few nights ago, I could not sleep and I was excessively worrying about a particular situation that I had under control. It was a situation that I had handled before. So why was I worrying so much? I felt an almost apocalyptic worry over this situation. In my head I spiraled thousands of situations
of how this particular situation and other situations would spawn off of it. I started having straight up old school panic attacks. I was using all my challenging tools to show myself that this situation did not warrent this level of anxiety, but they just were not working. And then I remembered.
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Everyone experiences anxiety which is a normal human emotion that keeps us alert and motivated. Repression is a psychological defense mechanism that pushes uncomfortable thoughts and feelings out of our conscious awareness. Which sounds great until it isn't because that anxiety does not actually leave rather it hangs around out of sight and deep in mind.
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The mind will hold onto that anxiety and release it when the mind feels that it can be done so safely. A podcast that I was listening to reminded me of this defense mechagnism. With my anxiety that night my awareness was heightened enough to realize that the situation I was dealing with did not warrent this level of anxiety and I let go of it.
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My thought challenging tools immediately became effective and I felt my anxiety burn away. I came back to the present and enjoyed the peace and quite in and around myself.
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This was a huge milestone for myself. For once I did not attempt to bury my anxiety or put out the flames by using alcohol or maybe even getting high. I haven't dealt with panic attacks like that in several years, and several years ago they would have sent me running to the liquor store, or looking up an old acqaintance.
Cognitive and CBT works. Your mind is yours to control. You have to get in, lay down the ground work and reclaim your territory.
