A Night on the Streets: A Homeless-ish Experience

 Saturday, August 17, 2024

Last night, I found myself sleeping on the concrete patio of a church alley. My two companions, or "posse" as I called them, were just across the way in the grass. It wasn't the most comfortable resting place but surprisingly safe. Cars passed by occasionally, and a few other homeless folks wandered through without incident.

Saturday was a quiet day, but it was tough on me psychologically. Addiction is a major challenge for homeless people, and it can be difficult to stay clean on the streets. I've had my fair share of struggles with substance abuse, but I'm trying to stay strong. Avoiding drugs and alcohol is crucial, not just for personal well-being, but also to avoid dangerous situations.

Many places that serve free meals were closed for the weekend, but I'm grateful for the organizations that provide these services. They're doing incredible work, and I'm amazed by their dedication. The volunteers put up with a lot, from verbal abuse to long hours.

I had to work a night shift, so I had to figure out how to get clean. I ended up taking a quick wash in a hospital bathroom before my shift. It wasn't ideal, but it was better than nothing.

As I sat in the nursing lounge, trying to rest before my shift, I couldn't help but think about the challenges I was facing. The constant fear of not having enough food, the uncertainty of where would sleep, and the constant struggle to stay clean were all weighing heavily on me. 

Loneliness was also a significant factor. Being homeless can be isolating, and it can be difficult to connect with others. I missed having a stable place to call home and the comfort of familiar surroundings.

Despite the difficulties, I was determined to persevere. I knew that giving up wasn't an option. With each passing day, I was learning more about survival on the streets and developing a stronger sense of resilience.

I was also beginning to appreciate the small things in life that I had taken for granted. A warm meal, a comfortable bed, and a sense of security were all things that I had once taken for granted. Now, I realized how precious these things were. 

The experience of being homeless has also taught me the importance of human connection. The kindness and compassion that I have encountered from strangers have been a source of strength and hope. I have learned that even in the darkest of times, there is always someone willing to help.

I'm still learning the ropes of being homeless, but I'm determined to make it through. I'll share more about my experiences in future posts. 

Additional Thoughts

• The importance of community: Being homeless can be isolating, but it's important to find a community of people who understand what you're going through.
• The value of hope: Even in the darkest of times, it's important to hold onto hope. Hope can give you the strength to keep going, even when things seem impossible.
• The importance of self-care: Taking care of yourself is essential when you're homeless. This includes eating healthy food, getting enough sleep, and staying active. 
• The power of gratitude: practicing gratitude can help you to focus on the positive things in your life, even when things are tough. 

This post was pretty boring but my next ones will be more exciting.  I will add that my morale was pretty low Sat and I was also dealing with the self-doubt voices that plagued my mind with phrases like You’ll never make it. You're going to start using again and show up to work fucked up and get your contract terminated. And then of course there is the frequent phrase that you are not even physically strong enough to make it through the sweltering heat and physical exhaustion of constantly moving. Another one kept focusing in on my previous addiction and how I knew that meth was everywhere and accessible. All of these voices and phrases turned out to be wrong in the end. And spoiler alert this whole experience was just what I needed. I was getting weak in my fight with the addiction and this experience broke me down a little It was necessary for the reset to fuel my victory. Anyway take care and until I post again – take care of yourself.