Justin's Story: A Fight for Acceptance

 Justin was a 15-year-old freshman, and this is his story (Justin (pseudonym) & Stacey (Justin's mother), 2009):

1. Justin lived in a small, conservative town in the Midwest. His life might have seemed ordinary on the surface—he was involved in school activities and planning for college. But behind the facade, there was a storm brewing.
2. Justin's bullying started in third grade, the moment he stepped into a new school. Being the "new kid" made him a target. But it wasn't just that. Justin wasn't a farmer's son, religious, or part of the cool crowd. The name-calling and shoving chipped away at his spirit.

As Justin grew older, another truth began to dawn on him. His feelings for his friends weren't quite the same as everyone else's. It was a confusing time, a secret he held close until the summer before freshman year. Finally, Justin came out to his mom, girlfriend, and closest friends. What followed was a wildfire of negativity. The small town couldn't accept it. The friends he thought he had turned their backs on him, using taunts laced with homophobic slurs. A simple conversation he was having about wanting to feel more confident became a brutal assault. They dragged Justin to the top of a slide, shoved him down, and then forced dirt into his mouth. These daily attacks on Justin were relentless. He craved acceptance, to be treated like everyone else. But all he got were cold shoulders, glares, and whispered judgments. The loneliness festered, morphing into a suffocating darkness. One day, on the edge of a bathtub, razor in hand, the weight of it all became unbearable. The cuts on his arms and legs screamed at him, a silent testament to his despair. Thankfully, Justin didn't take that final step. But it was a wake-up call, a brutal reminder of how low he had allowed himself to sink.

This is Why Justin Shared His Story

Justin wanted to raise awareness about the struggles of LGBTQ+ youth and the devastating impact of bullying.  Justin wants teachers, administrators, and everyone to be more attuned to the signs of a hurting student.

There is Hope. There is Help

If you're struggling with suicidal thoughts, please reach out. Here are some resources:

1. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 988
2. The Trevor Project: 1-866-488-7386 (for LGBTQ+ youth)
3. You can also text HOME to 741741 to connect with a crisis counselor.

My next blog posts will delve more into his darkness, Justin's mom, and her journey of supporting him through this difficult time.

#YouAreNotAlone 

References

Justin (pseudonym), & Stacey (Justin's mother). (2009, December 31). A 15-Year-Old Boy’s Personal Story of Being Bullied & Attempting Suicide [Review of A 15-Year-Old Boy’s Personal Story of Being Bullied & Attempting Suicide]. https://learningcloud.infobase.com/5730/learnit

The Quiet Boy in the Back: Justin's Journey with Depression

 The school was only sometimes a safe space for Justin. The bullying that started early on continued well into his ninth-grade year. It wasn't just the name-calling anymore; it was a constant undercurrent of negativity that seeped into his soul.

 In his story, Justin states that he craved solitude. It wasn't just about avoiding bullies but a desperate need to escape the crushing weight of depression. He distanced himself from everyone, even his mom, who he used to confide in. His days blurred together, filled with music, books, and a growing numbness. (Justin (pseudonym) & Stacey (Justin's mother), 2009)

But numbness isn't an escape. It's a desperate attempt to avoid feeling at all. A twisted desire arose in that emptiness - Justin craved to feel anything.

That's when the cutting began. It wasn't about ending his life; it was a warped way to feel alive again. Justin's physical pain became a twisted substitute for emotional connection. Justin states that the scars on his wrist mirrored the deeper wounds inflicted by bullies and his self-hatred. Thankfully, Justin's mom intervened. Therapy helped him to stop cutting, and for a while, he felt like he was healing. But Justin states that quitting therapy too soon was a huge mistake. Justin's suicidal thoughts returned, more vital than ever. The idea of escape, of not having to face the bullies or his pain, became his dark obsession. The pain that Justin craved transformed into a desire to end it all.

This is Where You, the Reader, Come In

Teachers, counselors, coaches – you have the power to make a difference. Look beyond grades or classroom behavior. See the students who withdraw and seem perpetually lost in thought.

Here are some signs of depression to watch out for:

• Withdrawal from friends and activities
• Loss of interest in hobbies
• Changes in sleep or appetite
• Difficulty concentrating

Expressions of hopelessness or worthlessness

If you see these signs, don't hesitate to reach out. Talk to th
e student and let them know you care.  Offer resources like the school counselor or a teen helpline. You might be the lifeline they desperately need. Because every student deserves to feel safe, supported, and like they have a reason to keep going.

#YouAreNotAlone 

References

Justin (pseudonym), & Stacey (Justin's mother). (2009, December 31). A 15-Year-Old Boy’s Personal Story of Being Bullied & Attempting Suicide [Review of A 15-Year-Old Boy’s Personal Story of Being Bullied & Attempting Suicide]. https://learningcloud.infobase.com/5730/learnit

A Mother's Plea: Recognizing the Signs Before It's Too Late

 Stacy is Justin's mom, and sharing her son's story was incredibly difficult, but it's a story that needs to be heard (Justin (pseudonym) & Stacey (Justin's mother), 2009):

• The scariest part? Stacy admits that she didn't know that Justin had attempted suicide until his school project. It's a harsh reminder of how a
  dept teenagers can hide their pain.

That's why Stacy offers a perspective for parents, educators, and anyone interacting with teens. By recognizing the warning signs, we can intervene before a crisis.

Like Justin's Story, Not Every Cry for Help Is Loud

Justin was sometimes the quiet kid in the back. He was outgoing, even cocky at times. But his behavior shifted. The music he loved changed to something darker. Basketball, his passion, became a chore. Stacy states that she initially attributed it to her separation, something he usually confided in her about. "The Red Flags that I missed" (Justin (pseudonym) & Stacey (Justin's mother), 2009):

1. Changes in interests and hobbies
2. Withdrawal from friends and activities
3. Shift in music preferences
   

These are classic signs, yet they went unnoticed. This is a harsh lesson for all of us: Look beyond the facade and pay attention to subtle changes.

Therapy - A Crucial Step, But Not the End

Therapy seemed promising. Justin opened up to his therapist, and medication offered a glimmer of hope. But then came the bombshell - thoughts of suicide.

When a Parent's Request Isn't Just About One Child

Stacy states that when she asked the school to monitor Justin closely, she was concerned about him, not just him. Stacy offers this insightful information:

•  Bullying can be a vicious cycle. A bully may be struggling just as much. (Justin (pseudonym) & Stacey (Justin's mother), 2009).

Here's what that request translates to for Educators:

1. Open communication: Talk to your students. Create a safe space for them to confide in you.
2. Increased vigilance: Notice changes in behavior, friend groups, and participation.
3. Active intervention: Address bullying immediately. Don't let harmful secrets fester.

The School Community: A Lifeline for Struggling Teens

Schools have a unique opportunity to bridge the gap between students and parents. Here's what a school's cultural curriculum could address:

1. The dangers of keeping secrets:  Encourage students to seek help, not silence their pain.
2. Respecting differences:  Promote acceptance and understanding of diverse identities.
3. Mental health awareness:  Educate students about depression, anxiety, and available resources.

Resources Matter

Schools need readily available resources to help students in crisis:

• School counselors
• Peer support groups
• Crisis hotlines
• Mental health professionals

A Story of Hope and Resilience

Justin's story doesn't end in tragedy. He received the help he needed, and the bullying stopped. Countless others aren't so fortunate. Let's learn from Justin's story. Let's open the dialogue, break the stigma, and ensure every teen feels safe to seek help. Together, we can create a world where no child suffers in silence.

References

Justin (pseudonym), & Stacey (Justin's mother). (2009, December 31). A 15-Year-Old Boy’s Personal Story of Being Bullied & Attempting Suicide [Review of A 15-Year-Old Boy’s Personal Story of Being Bullied & Attempting Suicide]. https://learningcloud.infobase.com/5730/learnit

Pride and the Weight of the World: Holding Space for Complex Emotions

 June is Pride Month, a vibrant celebration of LGBTQ+ identities, achievements, and the fight for equality. Rainbows flood the streets, parades pulsate with joy, and communities come together to affirm the beauty of who we are.
But for some of us, Pride can feel like a bittersweet symphony. While we celebrate the progress made, the shadow of hardship lingers. You may be living where expressing your identity is a risk. Maybe you're struggling with internalized homophobia, transphobia, or biphobia. Or possibly you've faced rejection from loved ones.

It's Okay to Feel Conflicted

Pride is a powerful movement, but it doesn't erase the daily struggles faced by many within the LGBTQ+ community. Here's How You Can Navigate This Complexity

• Acknowledge your pain.  Don't force yourself to feel happy just because it's Pride. Ignoring your emotions only makes them stronger.
• Find your community.  Even if it's online, connect with others who understand your struggles. Sharing your story can be incredibly validating.
• Celebrate your victories.  Maybe you finally came out to a close friend, or you started hormone therapy. Celebrate these milestones, however small they may seem.
• Focus on self-care.  Dealing with a hostile environment or internal battles takes a toll. Make time for activities that nourish your mind, body, and spirit.

Remember, Pride is a protest, not just a party.  Educate yourself about the history of LGBTQ+ rights movements and find ways to advocate for change, even if it's just within your circle. Pride isn't just about rainbows and glitter. It's about resilience, solidarity, and hope.  Even in the face of hardship, we can celebrate who we are. We see you for those of you leading the fight under challenging circumstances. We celebrate your courage, and we stand with you. Here are some resources that can help:

1. The Trevor Project: 1-866-488-7386 (US)
2. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline:  988 (US)
3. International Association for Suicide Prevention: IASP - International Association for Suicide Prevention

Remember, you are not alone. Some people care about you, and there is hope for a brighter future.

Let's celebrate the progress we've made while acknowledging the battles that continue. Together, we can create a world where everyone feels safe and empowered to be themselves.